Nigerian (Yoruba) Parties: Where We All Clock Out of Reality and Enter Premium Delusion

There’s something about Nigerian parties — Yoruba ones especially — that should be studied in Harvard.

For a few precious hours, we abandon our real lives and fully commit to the fantasy:

We are rich, famous, heartbreak-free, and living in a Netflix special titled "Soft Life: The Series." ✨

The preparation is military-grade.

You start planning one month ahead:

Outfit? Custom made. (Three fittings, minimum.) ✂️

Makeup? Full face beat that could survive a hurricane. 💄

Gele? Taller than your life goals. 🎀

Shoes? Painful but necessary sacrifices to the gods of Instagram. 👠

By the time you’re stepping into the hall, you’re a moving hallucination.

Sequins blinding the innocent. ✨ Lace scratching your armpits but you dare not flinch.🤣

The photographer’s flash is your oxygen. 📸 Your walk? Slow motion. Your smile? ₦1.2 million per second.

And let’s not lie —

We are ALL lying.

Lying that we’re not hot in our 7-layer outfits. 🔥

Lying that our feet don’t feel like they've been beaten with a pestle. 🥲

Lying that we “only had one drink” when we’re three shots away from confessing family secrets. 🥂

Yet, the vibe is electric. ⚡️

The live band is shouting, Sho ma na owo yen tan!" 🎶 and Aunties are spraying money like they own printing presses. 💸

Your entire family group chat will hear about it.

Snapchat, Instagram, TikTok — everything must see your joy, your glow, your calculated shakara. ✨

And then, like Cinderella’s carriage at midnight, reality knocks. ⏰

You reach home.

Remove your lashes 

You’re massaging your swollen feet and counting how many calories you danced off.

The aso-ebi is lying on the floor like a defeated soldier. ⚔️

Your phone is full of blurry videos of yourself shouting "This life na one!" like a philosopher with zero savings. 📱

And you just smile, because you know...

You’ll do it again.

And again.

And again.

Because in those few hours, we are exactly who we dream to be: unbothered, unstoppable, and drowning in powdered happiness. ✨

Who needs therapy when you have Owambe? 🎉

Dee🥳